Why Age is Just a Number: Our Guide to Sex Over 60

Sex after 60 might seem like a taboo topic at first glance, but there is no reason someone in their 60s should not be thriving between the sheets just like their younger counterparts. Why do we feel that hot, fun, exciting sex is reserved for the young? Society is in large part to blame for false depictions in the movie and media or maybe it's preconceived notions formed from observing our parents and assuming that not a lot of sex was going on (we hate to break it to you, it probably was). Sexual connection is an important part of relationships no matter your age which is why Pepper is here to set the record straight so that you can keep things steamy into your old age.

Why does sex change when you’re over a certain age?

Theres no way to deny Our bodies change as we age. A lot of the major changes that happen in our 50s and 60s have to do with changing hormones and the array of side effects these changes bring. For women, a normal part of the aging process includes a significant decline in estrogen. Estrogen keeps tissue elastic and lubricated, particularly through the pelvic floor and vaginal floor. A lack of estrogen will impact the way sex feels during penetration and may also decrease libido. Older women may also have trouble reaching climax due to tissue shortening and decreased lubrication from estrogen decline. Pepper has a variety of products that fit every need and desire in the bedroom. The Pepper Silicone Lubricant is a reliable resource to have in your bedside drawer, as well as Toto CBD Lubricant and Ease Anal Lubricant. Taking time with your partner with foreplay before penetration is the best way to warm things up and allow for optimal arousal. Starting sex with a vibrator or dildo, such as the Paramour G & A-Spot Vibrator or Surii, can also help get the juices flowing. Lighting candles and starting with a massage or a hot shower is another way to ease into penetrative sex, while allowing your body to warm up for fun positions. 

Changes in sex tissues

Changes in the vagina that come with age are not only caused by lower levels of estrogen but also from the effects of gravity over time. Prolapse is a common occurrence during childbearing years for women, which can worsen with time as a person ages. Those who have not endured pregnancy are still at risk for prolapse over time from the natural influence of gravity and from repetitive straining from everyday tasks. With the help of a pelvic floor therapist, prolapse can be well-managed and even resolved in many cases. For women, it is best to stick to reclined positions as the receiver during sex to allow prolapsed tissue to feel supported. 

Erectile dysfunction is also common with age, with more than half of men experiencing it between ages 40 and 70. Erectile dysfunction is when a man is unable to maintain or achieve an erection. Extensive foreplay can help warm up tissues to improve blood flow to the genitals. Penis pumps are also found to help maintain an erection for penetrative sex. The TR Male Sexual Wellness System at Pepper can help build stamina as a means for foreplay or masturbation, or the Flip Zero Gravity can help bring new sensations to help with blood flow and stimulation prior to penetrative sex as another great option. If conservative options fail, then speaking with a doctor about medication options is the next best step. 

Age also comes with a lack of flexibility, largely in part to the decline of circulating hormones which help to keep tissue mobile. Your go-to positions with your partner might no longer be reliable for sex after 60. Getting creative will help you overcome this obstacle. Not only can this improve comfort with foreplay and penetration, but trying new positions can heighten your connection with your partner. The Positions of the Day book can help you and your partner get creative with comfortable and stimulating positions for sex if you need some spicy ideas to try out. 

Let's talk about sex baby - the importance of communication.

If you think your partner can read your mind, that might be your biggest fault in the bedroom. Letting your partner know what feels good and what doesn't is a game changer for heightening your sexual experience. Body cues might not be enough sometimes. Having an actual conversation, try Joyful Couple's Naughty Conversations game, about your sexual needs is not only a positive element to optimizing sex but can also be approached as a form of foreplay and flirting. Next time you initiate sex with your partner, it doesn't have to start in the bedroom. Sending a seductive text from the grocery store before you get home can fire things up before you are in the same space. Or leaving sensual notes for each other in unexpected places can be alluring and sweet at the same time. 

Although age may feel like an inhibiting factor to sex, there is an emotional maturity that comes with time that can bring depth to your sexuality that was not present during your 20s. Don't let the number of your age get you down - there are many factors worth embracing during this phase of life, including your sex life. Follow the basic guidelines above and stock your bedside table with the necessary tools to aid your experience between the sheets and make sex after 60 something to look forward to.

Claire is a pelvic floor therapist with a distinct specialty certification in pelvic rehabilitation (PRPC). She is the private clinic owner of Rooted Pelvic Health and Hand Therapy in Sun Valley, Idaho. She treats all gender diversities for pelvic floor related conditions including sexual dysfunction, gynecological cancer recovery, and chronic pelvic pain. Claire's mission is to improve overall function and quality of life with lasting results for her clients. As a contributing writer to Pepper Together, Claire seeks to provide education about a subject that deserves more attention. She hopes that by spreading the word about pelvic floor conditions she can break the stigma about conversations around sex, and provide simple solutions to improve sexual intimacy.